Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Why All Victories, Part II: where credit is due

The inspiration (and the nudging) for All Victories came from Jenny of The idea for the blog’s subject came from an amazing telecourse I took with the parenting educator Perl Abramovitz. Mrs. Abramovitz’s organization is called Kulam Giborim, which means “all heroes” or “all victorious.”

The mishna in Pirkei Avot says, “Eizeh hu gibor? Hakovesh et yitzro” Who is a hero, who is a warrior? A person who conquers his will. The idea of being a gibor is that I strive to live in accordance with my values, to do God’s will, even when it would be easier to do something else, even when every desire in my body is crying out to do something else.

In the telecourse, I learned how to acknowledge and appreciate my children’s victories. You didn’t hit your brother even when he took your toy? You’re a gibora! You started to use a whining voice and then you switched to a gentle voice? You’re a gibor.

Rather than focus on what needs improvement in my kids’ behavior, I started building on their strengths. And this approach has shaped the way I think about my own spiritual growth, as well. Instead of identifying my shortcomings and working on them, I look at my victories and draw inspiration from them. Hopefully, that positive growth spreads to the rest of my life, and I grow strong in other areas as well. Hence, the blog.

Check out the new Parenting Resources tab on the left side of this blog. I hope to add more to it soon, but for now there's information on Perl Abramovitz’s summer courses. I highly recommend the parenting course.

2 comments: said...

and you have inspired ME to notice my own small victories as a mom. I didn't yell even though that kid was driving me nuts? A victory! I didn't terrorize my family even though I was incredibly, incredibly tired. A victory!

thanks chaya for inspiring me and all of us!

AR said...

Yes, Thanks!

I don't comment often but that does not reflect the value I attach to your posts. I really look forward to them and enjoy every one.

You and Chana Jenny are a great help to us Jewish Moms everywhere!

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